Sunday, October 29, 2006
I was touched when I read this newspaper article on the sunday times "Lonely Grandpa, 103, dies of a heart break" just now...
I never cried so much after reading or watching something before, not even when I watched "The Notebook" 2 years ago and "A walk to remember".
Married for 80 years, this couple was inseparable, and the grandpa was so sweet right to the very end. When they were alive, they'd do little things to show how much they meant to each other. He would accompany her when she went down to talk to the other folks, sitting by himself. I cried when it wrote that he missed his wife so much that he'd cry every night after she passed away; look at her picture and touch her face and cry; hit himself until he vommited when he was suddenly reminded that his wife was gone because he was so used to her being around.
Do read the news. I think it's more sensationalised because of the nature of media. Then again, oh, the power of words!!!! It really touched me, making me feel that life is worth living because love is so real and so powerful; there are people and couples in the world who can sustain this love in their lives and in eternity; and that we should treasure our loved ones while we still can.
Love is not just a feeling...Feelings fade. Love is more than that. Little as they are, actions mean a lot to show how much you love your family, your friends, your boyfriend/girlfriend, and those around you. A simple gesture like a hug, a touch, an attentive ear to show that you are listening and that you care...just the very presence of you in person or in cyber space; dropping a msg to tell them that you miss them... They mean so much, at least to me - they do.
-Yours truly ;
Saturday, October 28, 2006
All single child species, particularly that of the chauvinistic race are spoilt rotten - period. A general claim for only certain species of this kind but nonetheless, a thesis that experimenter makes from experiences and repeated trial tests.
The general characteristics are uncanny- particularly to all 3 whom experimenter has taken as specimens to examine the claim made. Although sample size is small, chances of inaccuracy are slim as it has certainly shown uncanny likeness of similar traits that enables hypothesis to be proven true.
Some of the general characteristics expounded are:
Self-centredness. Having no particular inclination to empathize. Thinking only of themselves because their world revolves around their wants. Sometimes inter-relationships with other species sour because of this. Leading to...
Insensitivity - They have no idea why it is so and why things happen the way they do. Apparently, repeated manual and mental knocks onto their heads to deepen their understanding prove futile.
Materialistic - Having everything they want because the generation before them believes in spoiling the species and complying with their whines.
Lack of compassion - Subjects SEEM to have this trait of compassion, but the experimenter believes that the compassion trait is deeply rooted and hidden within them and so, needs particular, careful and sensitive exploration with great understanding to open that trait. But in the meantime, their "lack" of it seems to be their pitfall.
Insecurity - A general claim that was admitted by other kinds of species from the chauvinistic race and certainly, accepted by the feministic race. But, apparently, this sample specimens seem to have no balls to be forthcoming towards this, and in the process, do things to anger the other kinds of species that try to live in harmony with them.
Experimenter is feeling very tired of examining sample species and hopes to find newer species to break the general claim and prove experimenter wrong. At the same time, experimenter refuses to give up and hopes to find a cure to modify these diseased characteristics in the sample specimens. Experimentor also hopes that sample specimens may undergo self-modification, particularly with one whom experimentor feels, is very different from the other 2, but strange enough, has no concrete evidence to base this feeling on.
-Yours truly ;
Sunday, October 22, 2006
I found out something about my past that I never knew...until today.
One thing for sure was that I wasn't suppose to live...I wasn't suppose to be here on this Earth. And I wasn't suppose to be saved. Now I know why I was the way that I was when I was young.
And why...God found me.
He got me out of it. My physical defects became perfect in His love. And I am who I am right now because of Him. I don't know if I should laugh or cry because of this knowledge but while I'm writing, I realise just how wonderful He is.
I feel...
Blessed.
-Yours truly ;
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
After so long...
I've found it.
This is the best love song ever...
-Yours truly ;
Sunday, October 08, 2006
I lift up my praise to you Lord...
Dancing into the moonlight...
I just want to sing for you and dance for you...
that's all I want to do,
lifting my hands up in praise and awe of you.
I am lifted by Father Goh's sermon at OLPS today...his homily on marriage and relationships hit me right in my head, providing me with words that I never could ever express out but was always there in my mind, my feelings and my thoughts. Saying out the the kind of relationship I want to have with the love of my life. I've always known what I want. Father simply summed it all for me (^-^)
And with support, strength and encouragement from my ministry friends during meeting today, I am lifted. Touched by the word of God through that movie shown and yes, by the presence of Him always with me.
Amen to that.
-Yours truly ;
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Reading the words...looking at the images...all spelt out so clear, feeling wistful and sad. I have an exam on Tuesday, but despite what Phae's been telling me to do, I can't help but look, and read, and because of it, I feel troubled. He's still living in the past...blaming the situation of it all and I wish only he will forgive himself. Holding no grudges against him, despite my criticism to his approach in life, I do care for him...but he takes it in another way.
I hadn't realised that even after so many years, he still looks out for me, thinking always how my situation is like, what my life is like without him. Still holding on to the hope that we can be as we were...and wishing life will be like how he and I used to dream it to be.
Mixed emotions. I mulled over the words of how blissful that life he wishes to have. And I wish only that I can tell him that I AM who I am right now, only by the grace of God. A fulfilling life that I strive to live for, so can he, is only when we have a mission to accomplish and a purpose in life - to reach out to others and to love those around.
I have no idea how to put it to u guys, even though time and again, you all tell me to leave him alone and let him live the life that he's living, leave him in the pit cuz he doesn't need my help, much less wants it. But even so, I think about things, and I realise that you cannot judge things by the way things happened cuz there are reasons behind it.
I pray that he will know God...that someone will come into his life and touch the depths of his heart and lift him out of the shroud of darkness and shield that he hides himself in =(
I wish you were here Jimmy...you knew what went on. I wish I can tell u know what is going on, what I mean...how I am...I wish you weren't so far away...
I know that if you were here, you will talk to him...if you were here, you will just be there for me...
I probably won't feel as shit as I feel right now.
I've lost it...
I don't think anyone can understand exactly how I feel.
Ever.
-Yours truly ;
Friday, October 06, 2006
I need to unleash my thoughts. Feeling the fire when I read a certain blog entry that completely fused me.
An escapism of reality.
Many people do that, especially in the materialistic society where brand, status, and money makes the world go round. I have a completely bias point of view where I take the stand that running away from reality with the consciousness of knowing what you think is right does not help when you succumb and indulge in your temptations and vices. And people indulge in them in unhealthy activities such as clubbing, drinking, racing, and having sex. Certainly I'm not an exception to escapism of reality for I am human and I have my weaknessess just as anybody else. But my escapism of reality lies in my abode of oneness in the God I believe and more, groundedly, in writing and submerging myself in my books. Call me a nerd if you want to. So what?
Then again, the escapism attitude that takes control of oneself in that situation, serves to only make one dwell in guilt, where some are so used to feeling guilty that their own consciousness is numbed by the many layers of superficiality. And so many are blinded to that. What then, is the downfall of your humanity and pure consciousness when you succumb to temptations of lust, greed and jealousy???
Not to let the escapism attitude into your working world and "living" world, seems such an irony when it is PART of your world but certainly, does not EXACTLY and ENTRELY revolve around your world, or if it does, then it will be addiction.
The sense of surreality only gives the momentary excitement and happiness, but after that moment and when you are back to reality, does that not bring you back to square one and back to earth where all seems but a mound of problems which are piled one after another. The eyes look everywhere else BUT yourself, refusing to search deep within what is wrong. What blatant criticism to "pity those who hide behind angelic facade"!!! JUST because they don't follow the slavery of temptations and be a follower of your activities!!!
Indulging in momentary excitement and happiness, do not serve to bring about one's true character. A true character in definition is one that consists of one's ideals, morals, beliefs...and one's perspective of life and how one deals with things and situations in life. There is a thing called self-control and discipline. Humans being humans, we are tempted every now and then, religious people are of no exception, but it is really a matter of how you control your desires to steer away from vices and temptations - by chanelling them to other means for the better of yourself and for the rest around you.
Enough is enough. WAKE UP!!!!
Then again, this person will never see this post. Bleah.
-Yours truly ;
