With the Holy Spirit

Thursday, May 31, 2007

If there is one thing I learnt, It is to say 'scusi'(excuse me)', 'grazie'(thank you) and 'advanti' (ahead), 'servici' (loo),'sinistra'(left, or is it right?) , and 'ciao' (hi/bye) and 'si' (yes). In Italian. Haa. My French is horrendous. I can't understand the French cuz their accent is so thick!!!

And!! If there's one thing I learnt also, it is that it is frustrating to go around with my mum, not when all the time, she's always buying fruits and I'm carrying a 17kg backpack, plus a 3kg French books, guides and laptop. Man...I almost fainted carrying everything.

The first time I stepped foot in Rome, I had to carry everything. Earlier in London, my Uncle had a car, and I was spared from carrying stuffs. But in Rome, there was only my mum and me. Barely walking 10 steps ahead, I fell flat on my face with my bags and everything in the middle of Rome terminal station. Literally. Oh my gawd, that was the most embarrassing moment ever. I managed to get up though, and retained a bit of dignity.

And running for the train, from Florence to Bologna, I fell down the stairs, cuz I was carrying my mum's load of bags on top of mine. Thank God I didn't roll down the stairs and fall flat on some poor old man or lady. I'm never going to run after the train again. It's the last thing I ever want to do. I think I'm ready to join Amazing Race...I believe I can. Haha...

And! If there's one thing about my identity, it is that I am either Japanese or Indonesian. Never from China. I don't know why. My mum becomes my friend, cuz no Italian thinks that she's my mum. Lack of resemblance. And she is from China. Say I'm from Singapore and I get stares from everybody. And so I am Japanese or Indonesian cuz I look like either of them. Not funny leh...all the Italians keep saying 'konichiwa' to me...and the hotel manager just thought that I'm a Muslim until I showed him my Jesus on the the cross. RAA!!!!

Ohh..Bologna was just a shopping city. Venezia (Venice), was beautiful, and the night lights along the city by the rivers, is beautiful...but I still love Rome. My heart is there. Sigh... Milan here is dangerous. It's scary at night. And even now, as Im typing at the internet café beside the hotel, I'm scared cuz it is quite late and the criminals are out at large. Even the hotel staff was telling me that the Milanese police can't control the gangsters, Mafias. I'm comforted only by the silent company of a Japanese guy beside me, and this other person opposite me.

But the good side of it is that...wa...it is a shopping paradise here!!! The clothes are all so stylish just like the Paris high fashion. And in Italy, EVERYONE goes to Church in their best. Really their best. The guys all HAVE to wear suits or long sleeves and pants. And ladies, have to wear really decently and nicely too! And on campus, ALL the students have to wear formal. David likes it cuz he says it's style. But well, hmm...I don't really like the idea of wearing formal everyday. It's crazy!!!

Thank you Jia...I believe that yeah, there must be a reason for things to happen the way they do. I learnt one thing, never check my results when I'm on holiday. It spoils my mood, at least for a while. AND, I have faith. I believe that we will do better...with God's help. Cuz Papa will honour our efforts. Amen.

-Yours truly ;

Monday, May 28, 2007

Thank you Tnt, thank you Paul..thank you Iwan...thank you Jac dear. I really felt so alone yesterday in the hostel in Italy. I needed someone to talk to, to tell me everything was going to be allright. And I know I will feel even more alone when I am in France cuz I'm the only one staying in the outskirts of Lyon while most of the others are staying in Lyon and elsewhere. God, Im being made such a darn fool.

How can God be so good to me, yet, so 'cruel'?
Firenze (Florence) is beautiful with its cathedrals, Basilicas, churches, museums and streets. First day of Firenze, I met David Cloetingue, a Hollander and Italian. Studying in the uni in Italy, it really not by chance that we met, cuz he brought us, my mum and I all around Florence, even in the mountain tops to see the Florentine night lights. And being a really devout Catholic, there was so much to share. On the way, I'd also met Cora, a Honkonger and medicine grad, now doing Masters in US, and Steve, a Honkonger-Canadian, who just graduated from Canada uni. It was fun...just going everywhere together, though I was still the youngest of them all. Sigh. Yesterday, I brought my mum to Pisa, even though I didn know exactly what or where to go, but still found my way with lots of help from the Italians and my broken Italian and French. And from Pisa, we went to Siena to meet up with David, Cora and Steve, and we just walked around the streets and visited cathedrals.

And God is cruel to me. I was so angry...being made such a fool. I know I did my best for uni..I tired hard, but just because of THAT module!!!! And those unscrupulous, disgusting people who cheated, and a professor who is a big, fat liar...Everything went down down down.

=( why...

Why is the world so unfair?

It is not fair...=(

=Lord, I need you...I love you. Why do you keep testing me and breaking me time and agian when you know that I love you so and all I want to do is to bring glory to You???=

-Yours truly ;

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Im in Assisi now. This small quaint and beautiful town where St. Francis of Assisi was. So was St. Clare. Arriving not long ago, I thought that I couldn't get internet cuz the family hotel had just set up internet connection yesterday. And the hotel manager let me use his own personal laptop!!! WAA! It was all in italian, but still managed to navigate my way in the cyber space =D

Rome is beautiful. No no...that is an understatement. It is MAGNIFICIENTO!!!!!! Oh. And the Vatican City!!! I love it there!!! Oh...it was such an honour to see Pope Benedict and to attend his Angelus, and oohhlalaaa, there were THOUSANDS at the Basilica of St. Peter! They spilled all throughout the Basilica, even out of the circle. And I sat 10 rows from the front! Oh my goodness!!! I didn't know that we would be able to sit so front! Praising Papa. I said hi to the Holy Father for you, my dear mei. And yes Paul, I managed to haggle for the rosary and had it blessed during the Angelus. And Iwan, I kept my promise to you too...gee, I really never knew how insane I could be.

Met 4 wonderful people. First day in Rome, I met two ladies who became my travelling companions. Zhou Li, from China and doing her pHD in Holland, and Vanessa from Argentina who is a physiotherapist back home. We went to so many places!!! And oh...there's just too much to write. I'll upload the photos, yea jac? =)
And at the Angelus, I met two others, a couple Bernie and Dennis from the US Archdiocese who came to Rome with the Diocesan seminarians from US. Oh...it was so wonderful. I felt really touched by this couple, and the love that they have for God. It was so amazing to be also able to talk to them about the Charismatic Renewal and their lives in Christ. Dennis had leukaemia and both this couple were celebrating their 40th diamond wedding anniversary. To be able to come to Rome had been a gift from God. I felt sad...I felt so sad that sicknesses and illnesses have to happen to people. I can't get over it. But I was surprised of what I told my mum, when she also shared with me that people should not die this way.

I told her that it's our Lord's will of what happens to people. Whether or not our Lord will allow miraculous healing, is in His own time. Cuz healing is for the glory of God. And even if the illneses and diseases are not healed, it is our heart which will heal. Our love for God in the midst of sufferings is what God will look at...cuz our heart is important to him. Just as gold is tested by fire, so is our heart tested by God, in perservering and making the most of our life as His Children no matter what happens.
Yes Fei? Keeping Esben in prayer... =)

I'm safe, thanks to all of your prayers.

I miss you all!!!

And I miss you too Phae...

-Yours truly ;

Monday, May 21, 2007

I've been wanting to write. But to no avail till now. Thought that I'd spend some time writing a bit before I go off to bed to wake in 5 hours time, for my flight from London to Rome.

I miss Singapore.
I miss my girlfriends.
I miss my ministry mates.
I nearly cried when I felt what's deep inside my heart as I sat alone on the subway today.

I miss you all...*hugz*

London's been good to me. At least for the past few days when I really felt like home with Aunty-Popo and Uncle-Gong gong cooking sumptious fabulicious dinner for us. Even though I knew I could take it, I still was horrified at the thought of having to eat burger and fries everyday, cuz that's the normal meal for a typical Londoner. Then again, I stayed in Woking, 1/2 an hour of train ride away from London.
Landing in London at 5.30a.m UK time (7hrs ahead of S'pore), I felt like the flight crew had screwed up my body system. I ate at 1.30a.m S'pore time, barely 2 hrs after I got on the plane!!!!! AND I had to eat again at 4a.m S'pore time!!!!! Man. Next time, I'll know what to do...ha. Then again, I really have to thank Quantas for making my plane ride a safe and comfy one.

Met my other uncle and aunty and cousin Eric who were backpack-driving from Holland to Spain to Italy to UK, at Popo and Gong gong's place for breakfast, before we started on our journey to Waterloo Station in London. We'd went to the Eye of London. There, something happened. Cousin Eric and I were just walking around, exploring, when I thought I saw a religious. Eric was whispering to me that the guy may be a religious. And earlier, both of us were just talking about ministry and stuffs. Wondering what in the world overcame me, I just walked towards the guy and asked if he's a Catholic priest. Lo! He said YES! And he's a Jesuit priest, Father "Oohk Tong", who came from Brazil to London, to attend a conference before flying off to Madrid for a Eucharistic celebration. It was strange, so strange, cuz hours earlier, I'd thought to myself that it'll be wonderful if I can picture what a Jesuit priest looks like. Hmm.

Later, we went to Westminster Abbey, where all the bodies of the monarch laid. My mum didn't know that they were graves until she walked past everything. Gee.

And we went to the Tower of England. Oh...the crown jewels are a sight to behold!!!! THE jewels, the gems...the diamonds...WAAAA!!

Managed to catch the changing of guards at Buckingham Palace too. I felt like a madwoman when I ran past the barricades, with Uncle Kevin and my mum in tow, just to catch a glimpse of the guards and the horses. Heh. The guards looked so cute with that furry long hats. It's like having a beehive on top of their heads. Heh. And it's even funnier when they try not to laugh cuz the tourists keep teasing them to laugh, and they look really constipated with a half-fierce face with a half-laugh. Hee.

Went to St. Paul's Cathedral today too...to spend some time at the prayer room. And lit 3 candles.

If there's anything I learnt, it's...

1) Never sleep with Cousin Dana cuz I'll never get to sleep. Reason cuz we can talk till the cows come home...
2) Always stand to the right when going up escalator (only in ENGLAND). Londoners are amazingly meticulous at rules and regulations.
Cousin Eric and I got so confused cuz in Singapore, it's "always stand to the left". Then again, nobody really actually stands to the left. Why ah?
3) Never put Cousin Eric and I on the subway together. We'll talk until we miss the stop. (maybe it's cuz we've so much to talk abt. Uni, albeit him being in NTU, and me in NUS; church; ministry; life; relationships. You name it, we'll talk it. Haha..)

Oh. There's so much to write, and more so to say!!!

Ciao for now tho...I'll be back to write more soon!! =)

Jesus said,
"I AM the light of the world. No follower of mine shall walk in darkness".

A candle is a reminder: It recalls Jesus, the one true light whom the darkness could not extinguish.
A candle is a parable: burning itself out, it gives light to others.
A candle is a symbol: it speaks of hope, warmth and love.
A candle is a sign: it reminds us of the prayers of God's people.

-Yours truly ;

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Love hurts. Doesn't it???

I broke down this afternoon...in the presence of two brothers of mine, with their hands and hearts of prayer supporting me.

I learnt what it means to love.
To love until I hurt.

I learnt that if we are to be like Jesus, and Jesus died on the cross because He loved us so, we will feel like Jesus felt.

And I will still love even if it hurts.

I love you and I will stand by you no matter how broken I felt. And that's because I see Jesus in you...I see a diamond in you...and that is what makes you my best friend all throughout these years.
It takes a lifetime to build a friendship, and a day to destroy it. I'll never let go of a lifetime friendship, and that's simply because you mean so much to me, you just don't know how...
-Yours truly-

-Yours truly ;