With the Holy Spirit

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

It's amazing how time flies. Two years ago, I had a blog...deleted it when I found myself so consumed in the everyday happenings that I hardly had time for myself.
I just came back from the camp (Youth in Spirit Seminar). It was the best camp I ever had in my entire life. Not only did friendships blossom during these 4 days, I also experienced God's love in ways beyond description. I never thought that I would feel His touch in me..much less see Him in the visions I had. I knew I always had him in me...in my heart, but I couldn't feel his love for me. All these 2 years, the heartache I went through, the sorrows I felt and endless disappointments, threw me into a tunnel of despair of whirling darkness. I prayed hard..I cried out loud, but I didn't feel anything. I felt so empty. There was no Jesus to respond to my cries..no Holy Spirit to stir up my thoughts and tell me what to do. I wanted something more...I wanted Him so badly. I waited and waited...
Came Friday. During the camp, I was having quiet time, I chanced upon this verse
"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him."
I was writing to Him in a letter. I always write to my Father. It seems pretty silly when I write all my thoughts and feelings in smses and letters. I always wished that I had Heaven's telephone number so that our Father can pick up my call or receive my sms. But yet, I know, He still hears me. I remember pondering over the verse again and again that day, my heart crying out loud to Him, " Father..you asked me to wait, here I am, waiting for you. My Father! Can you see that I am waiting for you?" As I wrote, I cried..the tears just wouldn't stop.
Then, when we had Healing Mass in the evening, I knew that on that very day, He touched me with the Holy Spirit. I felt so free. He had released me of all the burdens I had been carrying for many years...All those hurt and pain, I felt them all gone. The peace within me welled up like a fountain bubbling within my soul. I felt so free! So free!!!!
The best is yet to come...for the gentleman that He is, He didn't fill my soul till the next day during the outpouring of the Holy Spirit. That day was the best day of my life. I never felt joy like how I felt that day. The joy that overflowed my soul can never be expressed with words... My Father in Heaven filled me and baptised me with the Holy Spirit. He gave me gifts like how a Father gives a child a gift so willingly and so lovingly. And when I was prayed over, I was slain by the Holy Spirit. I fell back onto the floor. I knew then that I was resting in Him. Praise the Lord...Alleluia! Oh, I love Him so much...
After the session, I gave a testimony. I didn't think that I would have the courage to do so. It scared me. Even though there were 100+ people, it felt to me like there were 1000 people in my midst. Thanks to the encouragement of my lovely facils, Nat and Del, and wonderful groupmates, I stood up and spoke. It surprised me when I didn't have cold feet and jelly legs, my heart itself wasn't pounding like it normally does. Instead, I was so calm. I knew then that this wasn't me. When I spoke, it wasn't me speaking. It was Him speaking through me. For when I finished the testimony, many came up to me, even those whose names I don't know, hugged me to tell me how I touched and inspired them with my testimony. To those out there who were one of those people and are reading this entry of mine, it wasn't me who touched u. It was Him who touched the soul within you. The glory is His to claim. Not mine =)

I'm so happy!I'm so happy that many were touched by the Holy Spirit. Miracles happen. I believe with all my heart and soul that they do. It was a miracle itself that I sang with the Gift even though everybody, especially my group members knew that I couldn't sing for nuts. I couldn't even sing the morning prayer I wanted to teach you guys cuz my throat was really terrible. It still is though..my voice is still lost. Haha =)

Jac, Mer...I wished so badly that u two were there with me. Wish that my experience would also become yours. Nevertheless, I want to tell you two that I love you two so much and I will always keep both of you in my prayers. And Phae, thank you so much for encouraging me...your endless prayers, strong belief and faith in Him helped me tremendously. I love you girl!!! Alphonsus, u brought me to this camp. I know that Our Father in Heaven worked through you to bring me to Him...thank you! You my friend, may not have realised this. It was you who brought me closer to Him...and during this camp, you, my friend, have been lifted of your burdens by Yahweh. Alleluia! To Nat and Del, thank you for your inspiration for without your constant care and guidance, I would have been so afraid and remained clamed up. My group mates, Mitchell, Maria, Petrina, Clement, Kenji, Marcus, Shaun, Joshua, thank you for sharing...thank you for your strong faith and support! Continue to live in faith!!! To my dorm mates, Mitchell, Serene, Jeanette, Joan, Shelly and Rachel, you all were light when it was dark. Literally. Haha =) I know I'm the ah mah (Serene's the great grandma) but nevertheless, I have to tell you all that I enjoyed your company so very much . I miss you all!!!
And last but not least, Kelvin, thank you for sharing...thank you for giving me the chance to be a wall for once in my entire life for 3hours 54 minutes and 59 seconds. I'll never forget the time I tell you! Haha... I know that you were touched by the Grace of God..Praise Him for doing so! My heart goes out to you...and even though I was acting dumb cuz I really couldn't talk, I felt what you felt. Your joy brings smiles, not only to me, but also to Him up there (^-^)

-Yours truly ;