That is what's been missing. Sometimes, we humans are selfish people. When we give something, we want something back in return. And when we show actions of love, we want people to reciprocate. Perhaps it's a weakness that we all have, that needs some correction. But the true meaning of unconditional love seems so simple yet profound, and the meaning of it is like a needle in a haystack.

Maybe it's the expectations that I have that pulls me down all the time. Sometimes, I wish that'd be someone there to save me from the darkness. Ironic as it is, there's always someone there...even in the spiritual realm, but everything still seems so bleak. The memories keep running back at me and haunting me, taunting me that history repeats itself. And in this, the hope slips further and distance widens. The wider the distance, the greater the pain, the stronger the feelings-intensified by things that happen. Words seem only like words. Promises just mere passing words. Wanting only to escape and break away. I guess I have to learn the hard way. And I shouldn't have expectations because it hurts.

Funny how is it that I feel loved yet not loved (-.-)

Mulled over the story of the Mother and the child. The mother and child were in the car when the car swerved and just ahead, the lorry was coming right at the car-threatening to smash the car. At that instant, the mother knew that it was going to be the end for both her and the child. Crying out loud, she said, "No!!! GOD!!! Not my child!!!!!" Time stood still. The lorry came right at the car, but stopped just before the car and both Mother and child escaped unhurt. Later that night, the child asked, "Mummy mummy...why is it that you asked God to save my life but not yours? Yours is precious too!"
Moral of the story? The mother knew that if there is one life that God can save in that accident, she would rather die and let her child live. "Take me away," she said, "but let my child live."

Take the Mother away and put a stranger there instead with the child. Will the stranger say the same words there and then?